Anal Sex and Double Penetration
In November I blogged about the popularity of menage a trios’. No, not about the act itself, but about the popularity of the act in books and whether I should attempt it myself. No, not the act, but whether I should write a story including or around such an act. 
Shortly thereafter, I decided to try it and have started three such books, one of which is based upon a former blog I did about sexual women tourists in the
Today, in search of understanding, I want to write about the act itself, or at least a potential portion of the act—anal sex. I have never written about anal sex. Nor have I ever tried it or even thought about trying it. And until recently I haven’t even read about it, therefore, when it comes to anal sex I’m a novitiate. The ménage stories I’ve started are mfm and frankly I wasn’t contemplating using anal sex, however in the few multiple partner excerpts I’ve read recently, anal sex was prevalent in at least half. My personal feelings are that it is demeaning to woman and the one woman, a one-time prostitute, who ever ventured an opinion on anal sex revealed in an interview, she hated it. 
Which leads me to the point of this blog. I really need some guidance here. Do you, the erotic romance readers, read ménage stories and if so, do you expect it to include anal sex? What about double penetration? Would you be disappointed in a ménage story that had all the goodies, but avoided anal sex altogether?
My gut tells me I shouldn’t be writing anal sex. Then again…
What do you think?
On another matter, my latest book, Forbidden Passion, a short fantasy-like story about a feisty couple came out yesterday.
Here is the blurb
Mitheas, the king’s grandson falls in love with the lavender colored Falan princess, the vivacious Adalina. Unfortunately, for them, they are inhabitants of the loveless planet Gala, a planet that has not only outlawed love, it has also banished marriage, even SEX!
The unlikely couple are lovers—lovers on a planet where the act of sexual intercourse has been against the law for four hundred cycles (six hundred earth years). Knowingly breaking the law they arrange surreptitious liaisons wherever they can, whenever the can. Will these two be able to change their future, and the future of the ones that come after them?
Should you be so inclined here's a link to the Forbidden Passion Page: Forbidden Passion
25 comments:
To anal or not to anal, that IS the question...ROFLMAO
Okay, Dee. Yes, anal. Got that? lol
Anal can be quite pleasurable for a woman especially when coupled with titillation of the clitoris as well.
But, even if there is not clitoral stimulation it can still feel nice. It's a matter of truly relaxing and a lot of lube. lol
Now for men, those I talk with like the idea because the orifice is so damn tight. Also, these men tend to feel it is another "gift" from a woman. On the flip side, I've talked to some women who consider it that way as well. One woman went so far as to say, "anal is something I consider as a special act I share with someone I truly care for".
Now I've thought a lot about this. I'm thinking the mentality of anal may relate somewhat to the primal instincts of men and women. Remember the old saying...women give sex in order to receive love? or something like that.
I truly think it is all a reversion to that mentality.
A mentality I happen to agree with so I am not putting it down at all. I'm a big believer in pleasing my man. lol
And I do like to read anal and definitely include it in my work. Tongue and all. It's a very intimate contact overall. Just because a woman doesn't have an orgasm through anal penetration, doesn't mean she can't enjoy it. Look at it this way. A woman can't have an orgasm by having her nipples licked either, but she still likes to have them licked!
Dee, darling
You write what you are comfortable with.
But yes, I enjoy anal sex with {You know who} He does as well.
It is quite stimulating.
As for reading about it I don't think one could write a menage with out anal play. I have never not read about anal play in a menage.
That is my voice:D
Thanks Tess, What a great, informative opinion, from a user point of view, but what about as a reader. I have a lot of books out there with some very hot sex scenes and no anal, but they've all been mf.
Now, I'm getting into new territory. Obviously mfm is a natural for double penetration, including anal/vaginal. I know you said you like to read about anal, but would you, as a reader expect it and be disappointed if it wasn't included?
Dee, Hello
From my angle I agree with Deb on writing what you are comfortable in writing.
As a couple we do enjoy anal play, not till about a year ago. We decided to try it. It was like nothing we have ever felt.
I can say I also enjoy anal play when deb is so giving with her mouth and viseversa.
Yes it sells, and is in high demand.But in the end Dee it is what you are able to do.
Hi Deb, Thanks to you, too, for your input. Other than philosophical differences, I have writing problems as well. Applying lube gel, getting out and inserting butt plugs etc, it all seems to interrupt the flow, passion and spontaneity of the sex scene.
I don't think I would be disappointed if I didn't read it. But it does add some spice to the passage in general.
However, in menage, it's a bit difficult to get away without some anal. I don't see how you could pull that off really. I guess you just leave it out, but for me, I don't think it would be believable.
Anyone who engages in menage is pretty uninhibited in the first place, so the lack of anal whether it is with tongue or penis or a toy would probably be a bit surprising. Guess I might just keep expecting it and then maybe realize at the end of the scene it didn't happen and wonder why.
If you leave it out, I think you might be holding back as a writer. Why?
I've never been a virgin sacrifice to the vodou gods before, but I think I can write the scene. So just because a writer has never personally experienced something doesn't mean they can't dig deep enough to find the right words and depict an act or place or emotion they never have before.
You've got to consider this from a marketing standpoint too. If you hold back from your readers they will feel it. Lots of best selling authors have dug so deep and made us fans and then they start giving us fluff and we know it.
Don't hold back is my advice.
And you Bob, Thanks also. I think I'll take the tack that if fits, I'll work it in.
Hi Dee,
I'm a female writer of m/m erotica and of course in that case you can't get around the anal. LOL
I definitely understand where you're coming from when it comes to the applying of lube, sex toys, prep, etc. My best advice (and I've had compliments from gay men in the past) is to treat it as you would foreplay between a standard m/f pairing.
A suggestion here is to try your hand at a test-scene and then have a fellow writer who does write anal take a look at it. Anyone who is familiar with anal can give you pointers on flow and technique.
Of course ultimately it's your decision whether you can as a writer feel comfortable with writing anal.
Hi Jesse, Thanks for your thoughts. I'm writing a test scene right now, but I haven't reached reached that point.
I looked at some excerpts by other writers to see how others were handling menage and frankly, I wasn't impressed, which only makes it slower for me.
Anyway, I'm plodding along. The second guy sure complicates things for me. We'll see how it goes when I get there.
Hey Dee-
I'm a woman who enjoys anal, it can be quite fun, and a nice change of pace at times. Like Tess mentioned, it's something a woman can give to a special man.
I also enjoy reading it, but did just finish Mary Suzanne's book Double The Pleasure which had menage and no anal. It was still hot.
AND I've written it into two of my books, Jessie's Dirty Little Secret and Mistress of Tiethla. You're right having that second guy in there can complicate things. My advice and it might not work for you but did for me is put yourself in their position. No don't go out an have a threesome. Just use your imagination, the mind is a very powerful thing.
Hope this helps.
Would I be disappointed if I didn't read it in a book...no, but it is hard to write a menage scene without it. I've written four to date and they all have some anal. If done right, it is very enjoyable, lol
AMe
Thanks Jade, I appreciate your input very much, but there's something else that's bothering me.
You all keep mentioning that having anal with that special person. I wonder how many threesomes deal with that special person. My BIG Bamboo story doesn't. The men are Caribbean gigolos and in Gizmo - Threesome, the guys are porn stars. In another story I've started a woman gets divorced and wants to celebrate by taking a lover for the night, only she meets two and can't choose.
Would this in any way change the equation?
Thanks for your response AMe. It's pretty much unanimous that a good menage should include some anal. The next thing I'm wondering is, is it proper for the heroine to have the threesome or should it be a secondary character.
Read the plots to my stories above.
You should continually learn to expand both your writing and sexual repetoire. What's degrading about anal sex? Let me put it this way as a deidedly bisexual male romance writer (That's one day I decided to be bisexual) "I" get off hard through anal! Not that anyone but Tess and Wendi know this but damn...
What's more intimate than being filled from both ends, having both lovers please you and themselves?
I just expect anal to be done/written correctly. That means once you think you have enough lube, you're going to add more!
I've written anal into two of my books so far. Both of those were M/F encounters.
The menage scenes I've written so far in other books have been F/M/F and all female. Anal didn't come into play there.
Like many of the other respondents have said: if it is done right and carefully, it can be pleasurable for both participants.
As for whether or not it takes a "special person" to make it work, I don't think so. I think if you are writing a menage scene, then hopefully all of the participants are comfortable enough to share sexual pleasures with each other. Anal sex can be just one more thing to toss in the mix.
It's all the mindset of your characters, Dee. Your Muse has to decide how far the characters are willing to push the envelope with each other.
Carpe Noctem,
Des
Desirée Lee
Putting the Romance Back in Necromancy
http://www.desireelee.com
As a woman i believe that anal sex is, yes, something interesting to share with someone special. If done right there is nothing degrading about it anymore than there is about any other kind of sex.
As for reading about menage and such I have read books where it happened and where it didn't happen. In both cases as long as it is written right it is good. As for if I am disappointed if it is not there, as long as the rest is well written, no I am not. And I read a lot of books so...
Good luck with your expanding work. Above all do what you are comfortable with.
Dee to answer your question about the "special person" I don't think it'll take anything away, if it isn't.
I'm going to use my work as an example again. In Mistress of Tiethla Alex, the MC, has a menage the guys are complete strangers at the time, and don't really become "special."
I don't think it takes anything from the book or character.
Again I hope this helps.
When we mentioned "special" person, we meant to us personally. You can't get too close to your characters. You need to step back and look at them.
Basically you have to decide if anal is right for your character. And in my opinion, a female protagonist that goes to some resort knowing she is going to be getting it on with male prostitutes or in your other book, porn stars, is shelling out the bucks for the first two, can definitely handle anal. You don't have to be in love to have anal. Lots of people do it with strangers every day. Hell, your characters are celebrating their womanhood, their new found freedom. I'd think experimentation would be right up their alley.
Bottom line: Is it believable to your readers. And anytime you have menage, it's believable and in my humble opinion--EXPECTED.
Secondary characters? Well, when it comes to those, I'd reserve that for something really weird or kinky, smile, not that I know anything about that. And if you have a secondary character that likes to play the field--then let the secondary character do it. The hero and heroine should stay faithful to each other pretty much. With the understanding that if they engage in menage or quads, they do so with consent, understanding, to enhance their relationship, etc.
Well it certainly looks like Connie Palmeroy is going to get it up the ass. LOL Especially since the porn stars claimed to be gay. Ha, ha.
Thanks everyone for your help.
Dee
Dee;
You can only write what you feel, in my opinion. And if you don't feel it, and write it anyway, your audience will know you're not feeling it.
That said, practice makes perfect, right, so if you think you want to go there, you're on the rihgt track in giving it a practice go!
As far as whether it's realistic, I think there's ample evidence around here, myself included, that it sure as hell is. Women can very much enjoy it, certainly. Would I expect it in a story? That entirely depends on the story and the characters involved.
One woman can be very much in love with two men at the same time and still not want them anywhere near her anus. In that case, I wouldn't expect it in the story, and might question it if it was there. If the woman is less inhibited, I would welcome the inclusion, but probably wouldn't miss it if it wasn't there.
What I expect in a story, is a compelling plot and characters I can get behind and root for. The rest is just gravy.
Jaime
Jamie, I think I agree with you. It depends on the characters. I will definitely keep that in mind.
I'm just a reader here but my advice is to read some authors that are comfortable with this style of writing and get as many samples as you can. Read the hard core and the more romantic. My experience is limited but I would suggest Emma Holly because she has written some great scenes with m/f/m and m/m. I wasn't shocked to my toes because the characters were well written and the scenes seemed like a very natural progression.
Hello Anonymous, I wouldn't say just a reader. It is the readers thoughts I am most interested in. After all it's the readers who are the end user. (pun intended) Thanks for your suggestion. I'll do that.
Dee
To Tess, Thanks for all your input. Your suggestions were pretty much echoed by all who commented. I will include anal when I can and when I feel it's something the character I've created would like to do and enjoy.
I've always maintained sex scenes are the hardest thing to write well and when you add a third party it's fifty percent harder.
I had the heroine have the menage. I've read several books, where the heroine has had the menage.
Ame
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